My 2012!

Moving in to another country to work is difficult and challenging. Difficult because I have to just live by my own without knowing anyone to be there for me but at the same time a challenge that I have to live with.

A year ago, I came to this country to work just like any ordinary foreign worker. I never included this country as a place I wanted to go but I found myself landing into it anyway. My reason was that I was terrified when I was younger about a news that really shook my country and perhaps the entire world due to a capital punishment imposed to a fellow citizen. I remembered my country's outpouring rage towards this country and how their friendship got affected due to that incident. That was almost decades ago and I think everyone got over on that issue as I did.

I was actually uncertain when I boarded the plane. During the entire trip, a lot of "what ifs" were running to my mind including that fate which my fellow went through. I only noticed I was wallowing at those thought when the plane went down into landing. I just closed my eyes and embraced the thought of being into a new world. I walked out of the plane and headed out from the immigration nervously. Minutes later, I was fetched by an agent who I had no choice but to trust since she was the only person who I had a contact with. I was warned a thousand times not to talk or discuss any matters to anyone even to my big boss except her. I succumbed to every words she said but my instinct kept on bugging me so I decided to do the opposite. Clients passports, ATM cards and contracts were withheld until agent fees are fully paid. I  revealed every details even our small arguments to those people concerned and I was actually surprised by what I heard. A  lot of "cannot be" comments thus, this made me do a research work  and a background check on her. I felt a stab on my back when I found out she is doing an unlawful acts stated on the country's laws. What made me angrier was the thought of not making a move to have her be reprimanded. I was a newbie and I am just a nobody. I know that whatever reasons I give for myself for not reporting her to authorities, I still think I should have done it. It happened anyway so I just counted it to experience.

Before the year ended, I felt another stab on the back from a person who I even considered as closest to me since coming to this place. This person seemed too good to be true-perceived self like a sweet innocent individual and appeared to look like an angel. True enough on the physical aspect but in reality, I and the others found out to be only just a front act. There were things we were fond of sharing to the extent of asking each other's advice but I did not see it coming to be used against me. I should have known better and should have trusted my gut even when I sensed it during the initial get to know each other stage. It just hurts so much to be taken advantage of and be betrayed by people when what you only do was to be good and to be  nice around them.

Some may not be pleased for just being myself and I may only be remembered for my weakness but I do not hold their judgement against me. I am pretty sure that if I will run down their own lives, I might probably discover the shock of my life. I maybe exaggerating but I think people like this are usually the ones with a lot of baggage. I do not want to busy myself trying to scrutinize and shoot comments I know will not only help. Anyhow, these people are only way up to  making me a stronger person.

All the best!